Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
