Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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