I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize