69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
