I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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