I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I could fuck to npr.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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