Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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