Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
