I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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