Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
