weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
