i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
