my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just gargled with NyQuil
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
