If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
