That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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