I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
