He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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