another moral hangover. fuck.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
