Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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