So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Drake has all the answers
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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