I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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