Sry I called you an 8
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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