So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
