All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
