my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This house was built for laser tag.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
