I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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