Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
