I wish my penis had an off switch
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
