you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Mom said you looked used
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
