I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dick very happy bro
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
