Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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