I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
