Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
