If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
