Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
