Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
