I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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