did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
