hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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