idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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