WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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