Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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