There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize