new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
