Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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