Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
