If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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