so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I party with great urgency now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
