Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
