You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
