i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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