i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
