Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
