I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
