the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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