at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
