meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
