her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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