porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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