It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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