hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
